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Vlincelent Blondly

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I hope they fucking choke. [Aug. 5th, 2009|01:59 pm]
Due to liscencing dickery, the lyricwiki.com API has been crippled. This means that Lyrical, my totally awesome iPhone lyrics app, is now worthless. Thanks RIAA!
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(no subject) [Jun. 23rd, 2009|06:56 pm]
I saw Terminator Salvation last night. I was worried I'd be bored watching a bunch of strangers from the future punching and getting punched by robots, but I had a lot of fun watching the entire future get blown up by both teams. There were a bunch of previews before the film also involving robots in various forms, and I am wondering what robots will think of our movies about robots.

I think about robots a lot, and even moreso at present, as I am now working almost exclusively on Tony Six, my nonexistent robot detective series. It's a project that has been in my cerebrospinal fluid pushing my eyes out for ages and I'm excited to finally fill my helmet, to complete the Mount Dragon metaphor. One of the things I wanted Tony Six to be was robot fiction that maybe robots would also enjoy. It may be unrealisticc, but I like to think that I'll get to hang out with robots during my lifetime, and I spend a lot of time speculating about how they would integrate with humans socially.

I've been jotting notes and stuff the whole time I've been wrangling my other thoughts into this post, so I think I'm going to stop this for now and see what happens with the robot stuff. I'll be posting again soon, as I plan to do this daily. Hopefully I'll feel less awkward next post. :/

P.S. If I haven't already told you about it, Food Party. It's on IFC now and I want to see more of it. Want to feel what it's like to have pure adorableness poured into your eyeholes? THE ANSWER. In case you need to be sold on it, it follows our good friend Ice Cream Cone (before he became evil and started murdering people) on a tour of the kitchen.
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I've never felt so much pride and shame at the same time. [Apr. 24th, 2009|10:00 am]
[update]

The dates on the pictures are off because I updated them to reflect some minor cosmetic changes I made (nav bar on springboard now fits with the rest of the LCARS motif-though I need to figure out why it's still being dimmed). Also, you can click here to check out some of the other modifications I made to the UI. Someone else made that battery. It's good, but I'll probably want to make my own eventually.

[/update]

4.22.09 @10am
--------------------------
Here's what I did last night instead of sleeping!

I turned this



(bo-ring)


Into this.


  


Even set up a lockscreen and sliders and stuff to go with it,with sounds to match. Majel Barrett makes noises out my phone. SHAME.



Phew. Remember the last time I did something like this? That was four years ago. Four! Here are additional refreshers. It's a good thing I can immortalize this stupid fuckery on The Livejournal! <3
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He'll save children, but not the children's LEGS. [Dec. 4th, 2008|09:45 am]
I wasn't going to post this at all, but then I noticed something amazing. Look at that girl's leg. For serious.



The Gentleman

Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLM)

The Gentleman

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a prize in the eyes of many.

It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you're fundamentally sex-driven. You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. She is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced.

Your exact male opposite:

The Last Man on Earth

The Last Man on Earth

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

Always avoid: The Battleaxe (DBLM)

Consider: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), someone just like you.

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - dating services | Dating
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In which there is some shoegazing, and a superior second paragraph. [Nov. 24th, 2008|08:00 pm]
A lot of good things have happened to me in the last couple of years. It has also been hard to adjust to a very different life from the one I remember living, but in time I know I'll look at my current life the same way from some indeterminate point in my future. I'm thinking it's just one of those things.

Speaking of which, here's one of my things.
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(no subject) [Sep. 30th, 2008|03:28 pm]
I made a couple of collages at work. Partly because we had all this colored paper lying around, but also because it's work, so that means it's time to make cartoons and junk. I really liked how they turned out, which was weird, because I totally anticipated hating them. I'm not particularly gifted at color palettes and tend to be more comfortable with black and white, but OMGAWESOME is so OMGAWESOME that it has to be in color. I'm so glad I did these work collages because they forced me to make a limited palette work, and made me a bit less afraid about messing with color, and was just a fun way to get those clean lines without trying to poop around with illustrator.

Here is a link to the website, which currently features the first collage I did, all tarted up and de-stapled (Did I mention I only had a stapler to affix all the layers of paper together? Awesome, I know). And below is a fuzzy iPhone photo of the second collage. I color corrected it a bit in photoshop, but it didn't really help. I want to scan it in and clean it up like I did with the first one, and then make a little flash app that lets you put various mustaches on the characters in it. Trust me, the lo-fi photocopier version of the mustache game was awesome.


Now imagine everyone in this image wearing a mustache. Your mind is blown.

I'm trying to get OMGAWESOME and SpiffyCo in some working order soon. I just got a new job and it has forced me to realize how far off course I've gone with all my silly projects. I got really into the whole hotel thing, and I'm still proud of the work I did there, but it just doesn't get me like the itchy obsessy hyperfocussy designy stuff. I miss curling up on my floor for hours with a pile of comics, a sketchbook, and a cup of tea while my computer poops out tunes. It's 90% of what I miss about my old studio apartment downtown that now only exists one time-traveling DeLorean-ride away. Of course, this will be more html grunty stuff than arty designy stuff, but it's much more in my neighborhood than getting ground under the heel of whatever overpaid douchebag got foisted on me by his equally-terrorized secretary stuff.
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Some words about Speed Racer. [Jun. 9th, 2008|11:18 am]
What it is, Internet. I know we need to have some quality time together soon, but for now, I need to put my thing down about the Speed Racer movie.

Every movie reviewer from the moon on down to the earth's molten core seems to think that the film is not only bad, but criminally bad. I went and saw it after having seen and enjoyed both Iron Man and Indiana Jones and, while I vowed to rewatch all three in the theater, I have only been back to see Speed Racer again so far. Twice. The opening credits started on viewing #3 and I got giddy. The end.

*climbs back into hole*




OMGEDIT:

It appears I wasted my internetbreath; [info]hit_the_leland has a far better assessment of Fast: The Movie then these smelly little bits of text here. Read and enjoy, then repeat. Then explode.
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Walter Peck for Mayor [Jan. 25th, 2008|12:29 pm]
It's true; This mayoral candidate has no dick.

[info]hit_the_leland and I were talking just yesterday about how Peck is in our top ten most hateable villians list. Also? Totally a douchebag in Die Hard one and two.

Speaking of playing the same character in multiple things, Carl Winslow from Family Matters plays a cop in Ghostbusters and the first two Die Hard movies. And on Family Matters, of course. That guy is a cop forever. Just like William Atherton is forever dickless. The end. <3
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Water Nation Red Alert: [Aug. 27th, 2007|12:21 pm]
Early Tuesday morning (i.e. shortly after midnight tonight) will be the deepest and longest lunar eclipse in 7 years, clocking in at about 90 minutesworth. According to ScienceDaily, "During a total lunar eclipse, the moon crosses into the shadow of the earth, taking on a dramatically colorful appearance from bright orange to blood red to dark brown and very dark gray, leaving all waterbenders vulnerable to a possible attack by the Fire Nation."
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My nerdiest post. [Aug. 8th, 2007|02:18 pm]
I am really excited about HTML5. I've never really advanced beyond HTML in my spotty tenure as a webby guy. This one will do all the stuff I wanted HTML to do for me in high school when I was making crappy websites instead of going to class!

The article I was reading about it mentioned that it was well-suited to someone who had been frozen in 1999 and thawed out now. They are talking about me.
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In which I discuss those fancy new moviefilm discs. [May. 21st, 2007|10:42 am]
Dear People Who Make the Things I Spend All My Spare Money On,

I grow weary of your glimmering platters. They get scuffed by a stare, my heart flutters at the mere thought of lending them to folks, and also they're dumb.

We are well overdue for a new format for movies that isn't just a dumb refinement to an expiring medium that requires me to buy your dumb machines and re-purchase all my dumb movies. That's dumb. You're dumb.

INFORMATION YOU MAY BE UNAWARE OF: Optical discs get scratched easily and often. I care exactly not at all how much crap you can put on them, or how totally magical this new crisper version of the same movie I have already purchased twice is, because you still have amnesia. We had this "no scratch" technology in the seventies. The SEVENTIES. You people didn't even know how to make a VINCENT BONDY in the seventies, but you could make pictures in the video-machine with something that, without ruining the delicate tapemeats contained within, you could shove in your pocket if only your pants weren't so tight.

If you absolutely have to keep peddling these loserdiscs (You don't, by the way. You're just a dumb jerk), put them in a protective case that continues to contain them as you play them. Remember how you even kind of figured that out? Remember how awesome the minidisc was? Well, nobody does, because you screwed it up. But look, here's your opportunity to make up for that; Put your doofy blu-ray thingies in a protective sheath. Get this; It'll protect the tender discmeats inside. You'll WANT to protect that disc part. I'm not even kidding. Do something. Encase it in cement. Put it between two slices of bread. You can make us buy a special toaster with a component output. Whatever. You have brains, I know you do. You don't even need to take them out of your skulls before using them. I believe in you. FIX IT.
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Don't we make a fine pair of misfits. [May. 21st, 2007|09:25 am]

My score on The Classic Dames Test:


Katharine Hepburn
(You scored 11% grit, 19% wit, 61% flair, and 14% class!)



You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.



Link: The Classic Dames Test
(OkCupid Free Online Dating)



Don't worry, internet, I don't have quiz-madness. Next post will be different. Different.
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I accept that I will never be a badass. Maybe. [May. 18th, 2007|06:46 pm]

Your Score: Jimmy Stewart


You scored 26% Tough, 9% Roguish, 57% Friendly, and 9% Charming!




You are the fun and friendly boy next door, the classic nice guy who still manages to get the girl most of the time. You're every nice girl's dreamboat, open and kind, nutty and charming, even a little mischievous at times, but always a real stand up guy. You're dependable and forthright, and women are drawn to your reliability, even as they're dazzled by your sense of adventure and fun. You try to be tough when you need to be, and will gladly stand up for any damsel in distress, but you'd rather catch a girl with a little bit of flair. Your leading ladies include Jean Arthur and Donna Reed, those sweet girl-next-door types.


Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the
Classic Dames Test.




Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test
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In which I reveal a strange envy. [Feb. 28th, 2007|11:43 am]
I have a whole bunch of dingles on my google home page, like weather and news blurbs and stuff, and one of them is a daily quote thingie. It usually contains little blurbs of sometimes questionable wit from the mouths of historical figures, politicians, writers and comedians, and sometimes all four. Yesterday was from, like, Oscar Wilde* or somthing.

Today's quote was from R. Stevens.













* All quotes ultimately get attributed to Oscar Wilde. Someday in the far future, people will think the only citizen of Earth for a thousand years was Oscar Wilde. Did I mention that today it was R. Stevens? There were a few more of his quotes on their main site.

I so want to be quoted!
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ATTENTION FAMOUS LADIES: [Feb. 27th, 2007|10:40 pm]
Educate yourselves.
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Biggerer [Feb. 5th, 2007|03:13 pm]
Sometime last year, around 4am, Leland and I made the stupidest video ever. We just wanted to make anything, and I had just gotten a secondhand video camera, and he had inherited a vidcap card from the remains of Chicago Pete's compuhusk. We had just improvised a goofy conversation into my mp3 player, and I sugested he perform both parts for the camera, and we could edit it together, ha ha. The next morning, I did the best I could with Windows Movie Maker and then buried it in the Vault.

It's not good. I think I might be the only one that laughs at this thing. Leland, of course, is fucking hilarious. I think he should put Leland Live on YouTube (and make some new ones). I'm mostly trying out the Choob, as I plan on making better stuff with Leland and company soon, along with some other exciting projects that might finally see the light of day. Keep your expectations low and think back on previous ambitious declarations;

I have a track-record.

Now that I've pushed as much accountability for this video as possible away from myself, I guess it's safe for you to press play.

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I hug you, internet. [Jan. 4th, 2007|01:04 am]
In 2007, vincentbondy resolves to...
Eat more alternate universes.
Pay for my monocles on time.
Learn to play the cling-film.
Give up self-publishing.
Apply for a new chelonia.
Tell my family about soft tacos.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:


I need to figure out how to broach the topic of soft tacos with my family. What to do.
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In which I vomit information. [Dec. 20th, 2006|02:16 pm]
Hi, friends! I just wanted to say I'm not dead. Also, I'm going to Spain today, so don't be alarmed when the crops and cattle start dying; It's just America missing me.

Fear not, little nuggets! I'll be back, and then I'll have all kinds of exciting stuff to talk about that I haven't had a chance to share yet, what with the travelling and my mom playing Hospital Roulette. More on that when I return.

Until then, free hugs for all, and have a happy Kwanzaanukkahmas.
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KEVIN [Dec. 5th, 2006|08:02 pm]

Which Famous Revolutionary Are You?

Margaret Sanger

"I resolved that women should have knowledge of contraception. They have every right to know about their own bodies. I would strike out—I would scream from the housetops. I would tell the world what was going on in the lives of these poor women."

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2006|03:08 pm]
Pigeon John is my favorite person right now. I'm listening to his new album as we speak and it's one of the best things I've fed my ears in a while. He opened up at the Lyrics Born/Cut Chemist show that some of us recently enjoyed. The whole show (which was amazing), we were all thinking about Pigeon John. I was boppin hard to LB, but all the while I was wondering what Pigeon John was doing, or what he was thinking....Or who he was with....And why.

I bought two of his albums right there. I didn't even get to listen to them until I got back to Mega-Man's Vineyard, and now I'm here, writing about this instead of adding to my wordcount, which is a number too much closer to zero than 50,000.


BE DISTRACTED BY THIS!



*runs away*
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