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Vlincelent Blondly

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Water Nation Red Alert: [Aug. 27th, 2007|12:21 pm]
Vlincelent Blondly
Early Tuesday morning (i.e. shortly after midnight tonight) will be the deepest and longest lunar eclipse in 7 years, clocking in at about 90 minutesworth. According to ScienceDaily, "During a total lunar eclipse, the moon crosses into the shadow of the earth, taking on a dramatically colorful appearance from bright orange to blood red to dark brown and very dark gray, leaving all waterbenders vulnerable to a possible attack by the Fire Nation."
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My nerdiest post. [Aug. 8th, 2007|02:18 pm]
Vlincelent Blondly
I am really excited about HTML5. I've never really advanced beyond HTML in my spotty tenure as a webby guy. This one will do all the stuff I wanted HTML to do for me in high school when I was making crappy websites instead of going to class!

The article I was reading about it mentioned that it was well-suited to someone who had been frozen in 1999 and thawed out now. They are talking about me.
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In which I discuss those fancy new moviefilm discs. [May. 21st, 2007|10:42 am]
Vlincelent Blondly
Dear People Who Make the Things I Spend All My Spare Money On,

I grow weary of your glimmering platters. They get scuffed by a stare, my heart flutters at the mere thought of lending them to folks, and also they're dumb.

We are well overdue for a new format for movies that isn't just a dumb refinement to an expiring medium that requires me to buy your dumb machines and re-purchase all my dumb movies. That's dumb. You're dumb.

INFORMATION YOU MAY BE UNAWARE OF: Optical discs get scratched easily and often. I care exactly not at all how much crap you can put on them, or how totally magical this new crisper version of the same movie I have already purchased twice is, because you still have amnesia. We had this "no scratch" technology in the seventies. The SEVENTIES. You people didn't even know how to make a VINCENT BONDY in the seventies, but you could make pictures in the video-machine with something that, without ruining the delicate tapemeats contained within, you could shove in your pocket if only your pants weren't so tight.

If you absolutely have to keep peddling these loserdiscs (You don't, by the way. You're just a dumb jerk), put them in a protective case that continues to contain them as you play them. Remember how you even kind of figured that out? Remember how awesome the minidisc was? Well, nobody does, because you screwed it up. But look, here's your opportunity to make up for that; Put your doofy blu-ray thingies in a protective sheath. Get this; It'll protect the tender discmeats inside. You'll WANT to protect that disc part. I'm not even kidding. Do something. Encase it in cement. Put it between two slices of bread. You can make us buy a special toaster with a component output. Whatever. You have brains, I know you do. You don't even need to take them out of your skulls before using them. I believe in you. FIX IT.
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Don't we make a fine pair of misfits. [May. 21st, 2007|09:25 am]
Vlincelent Blondly

My score on The Classic Dames Test:


Katharine Hepburn
(You scored 11% grit, 19% wit, 61% flair, and 14% class!)



You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.



Link: The Classic Dames Test
(OkCupid Free Online Dating)



Don't worry, internet, I don't have quiz-madness. Next post will be different. Different.
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I accept that I will never be a badass. Maybe. [May. 18th, 2007|06:46 pm]
Vlincelent Blondly

Your Score: Jimmy Stewart


You scored 26% Tough, 9% Roguish, 57% Friendly, and 9% Charming!




You are the fun and friendly boy next door, the classic nice guy who still manages to get the girl most of the time. You're every nice girl's dreamboat, open and kind, nutty and charming, even a little mischievous at times, but always a real stand up guy. You're dependable and forthright, and women are drawn to your reliability, even as they're dazzled by your sense of adventure and fun. You try to be tough when you need to be, and will gladly stand up for any damsel in distress, but you'd rather catch a girl with a little bit of flair. Your leading ladies include Jean Arthur and Donna Reed, those sweet girl-next-door types.


Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the
Classic Dames Test.




Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test
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In which I reveal a strange envy. [Feb. 28th, 2007|11:43 am]
Vlincelent Blondly
I have a whole bunch of dingles on my google home page, like weather and news blurbs and stuff, and one of them is a daily quote thingie. It usually contains little blurbs of sometimes questionable wit from the mouths of historical figures, politicians, writers and comedians, and sometimes all four. Yesterday was from, like, Oscar Wilde* or somthing.

Today's quote was from R. Stevens.













* All quotes ultimately get attributed to Oscar Wilde. Someday in the far future, people will think the only citizen of Earth for a thousand years was Oscar Wilde. Did I mention that today it was R. Stevens? There were a few more of his quotes on their main site.

I so want to be quoted!
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ATTENTION FAMOUS LADIES: [Feb. 27th, 2007|10:40 pm]
Vlincelent Blondly
Educate yourselves.
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Biggerer [Feb. 5th, 2007|03:13 pm]
Vlincelent Blondly
Sometime last year, around 4am, Leland and I made the stupidest video ever. We just wanted to make anything, and I had just gotten a secondhand video camera, and he had inherited a vidcap card from the remains of Chicago Pete's compuhusk. We had just improvised a goofy conversation into my mp3 player, and I sugested he perform both parts for the camera, and we could edit it together, ha ha. The next morning, I did the best I could with Windows Movie Maker and then buried it in the Vault.

It's not good. I think I might be the only one that laughs at this thing. Leland, of course, is fucking hilarious. I think he should put Leland Live on YouTube (and make some new ones). I'm mostly trying out the Choob, as I plan on making better stuff with Leland and company soon, along with some other exciting projects that might finally see the light of day. Keep your expectations low and think back on previous ambitious declarations;

I have a track-record.

Now that I've pushed as much accountability for this video as possible away from myself, I guess it's safe for you to press play.

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I hug you, internet. [Jan. 4th, 2007|01:04 am]
Vlincelent Blondly
In 2007, vincentbondy resolves to...
Eat more alternate universes.
Pay for my monocles on time.
Learn to play the cling-film.
Give up self-publishing.
Apply for a new chelonia.
Tell my family about soft tacos.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:


I need to figure out how to broach the topic of soft tacos with my family. What to do.
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In which I vomit information. [Dec. 20th, 2006|02:16 pm]
Vlincelent Blondly
Hi, friends! I just wanted to say I'm not dead. Also, I'm going to Spain today, so don't be alarmed when the crops and cattle start dying; It's just America missing me.

Fear not, little nuggets! I'll be back, and then I'll have all kinds of exciting stuff to talk about that I haven't had a chance to share yet, what with the travelling and my mom playing Hospital Roulette. More on that when I return.

Until then, free hugs for all, and have a happy Kwanzaanukkahmas.
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